Together forever since December 2nd of 2020!

This shrine is dedicated to Sam, the love of my life, the glimmer of hope during my bleakest days, and my lover.

God, where do I even begin?

You are genuinely the most gorgeous, kind, and caring person I have ever met in my life. Our love isn't exactly romantic, but it's still love nonetheless; we're lovers in arms, eachother's saving graces, so on and so forth... I mean, who needs romance when you have two aros and queerplatonic relationships? It's still the most fufilling and best relationship I have ever been in, and I couldn't be more grateful for you. I'm so glad we met, mi amor. <3

I met you at one of my lowest points, if not the lowest point in my life. I'm not going to go into depth here, however I will say that I was in an abusive friendship, and I didn't have any friends outside of that friend group. But then you came in, and it was almost like you swept me up, off my feet; saving me the way a knight would save a damsel in distress. That's cheesy as hell, but you really are the only reason why I survived that time. Without you, I don't think I'd even be alive right now! You were the only good part of that bleak time, where I felt like there was no hope.

Since then, you've inspired me everyday to be a better person. You're the reason why I started to get happier, which led to me getting new friends and developing the single best friend group I have ever been in (hi Papa Louie!). I wasn't perfect, and I'll never be perfect, but that's ok. I'm improving myself as the days go on, and you are the root cause of me being a better person.

But, even before we were together, I was head over heels for you. I remember the butterflies I got in my stomach whenever I saw you in my notifications on my ooooooooooooooooooold ass Tumblr account. Whenever you sent me an ask, I got so excited and answered it almost immediately. I remember this one time when I asked you, jokingly, if you wanted to hold hands while listening to Lemon Demon, and you said yes, also jokingly. Well, now with what we both know, I don't think that was very jokingly; though, at the time, it made me feel something. I wasn't sure what, but it made me feel nice and warm and fuzzy inside.

A few nights later, while at my dad's when he was at his old house, I had a dream where one of my mutuals confessed to me. Unfortunately, it wasn't you, 'cause my brain's weird like that, but when I woke up I realized something.

I had a crush on you.

Although it wasn't you confessing to me in the dream, I still could easily deduce that it was about you somehow. The feeling of love made my stomach churn in a good way, like the same butterflies in my tummy and soft, warm, and fuzzy feeling I got whenever I talked to you. Everything made sense in that moment. I was in love with you.

A few more nights later, I'm asking my (now ex-)friends if I should confess. They all said yes, so naturally I decided that I was gonna confess that night. I slid into your inbox, wrote something about how I had a crush on you, and waited impatiently. You replied to a few other asks of mine that day, so I replied to those posts and told you to check your inbox repeatedly because I was really nervous about how you would reply.

You said that you did, and then you responded to my confession. And that moment, I looked into it hesitantly, nervously-

You said yes.

You said something about how you felt the same way, so I asked if that meant we were QPPs now, and you said yes. I was grinning and kicking my legs and squealing so loudly and so happily. I told my (now ex-)friends about it too, and they congratulated me. I was so, so happy; I don't think I've ever been as happy as I was in that moment.

Admittedly, though, I was a bit nervous that I wasn't ready for a relationship, especially with how some past relationships were... well. Pretty fuckin' rocky. Besides, I wasn't even truly in love until I met you! You were the reason why I felt love for the very first time, and I couldn't ask for anyone else to make me love the same way I love you. You taught me I could be in a healthy, fufilling relationship - actually, more than that. You taught me I could truly love.

It's been almost two years since that fateful day now, and all of that still applies. I couldn't ask for a better person to be with, my love; we've been through thick and thin together. Our Lemon Demon hyperfixations, my Human Centipde phase (*shudders*), generally when I was an embarrassing 13 year old, and so much more I can't fit in here. I'm so glad I get to spend the rest of my life with you, even if we are so, so far away from eachother... though, one day, we will be together forever, I promise!

I love you so, so much, Sam. I can't say that about anyone else but you. Thank you for being in my life, my love.

Our songs:
  • Between You And Me - Lemon Demon (the ultimate SamLuci song!)
  • Geeks In Love - Lemon Demon
  • Watch As I Perform My Own Tracheotomy - Talkshow Boy
  • (Any song from that album too, to be honest)
  • Apple Pie - The Scary Jokes
  • Crushed Out On Soda Beach - The Scary Jokes
  • Bets Against The Void - The Scary Jokes
  • My Boy (Twin Fantasy) - Carseat Headrest
  • MG1 - Machine Girl
  • Quotes that make me think of you:

    "Before you, I was nothing."
    - Kaiba, 2008

    "having a short boyfriend is all fun and games until he gets carried off by a bird of prey"
    - 4ry4 on tumblr

    "Waiting for everything to fall into place / So far a distance just to see face to face / Between you and me, I think rules don't apply / Between you and me is a space we can walk if we try"
    - Between You And Me, Lemon Demon

    "They have no roses / Subconsciously they envy us a lot / They're looking down their noses / And see a couple of dorks with more love than they have got"
    - Geeks In Love, Lemon Demon

    "Wait! Please, don't go... I want to discuss one last human emotional phenomenon with you. I want to ask what you know... about... l-..."
    -Valcom, Heartbeeps