Scatfuck Cumhole is a metal band based in Moronville, [U.S state here]. Their music has been often compared to the likes of Korn and Dog Fashion Disco, and seems to defy genres other than metal. However, Jackson, the lead singer of the band, refers to it as "evil jazz metal about how sexy consent is and y'know, shit that's fucked up in a cool way."

Their name is a reference to a type of orgy where all of the participants rub feces all over eachother and cum in eachother's holes referred to as a scatfuck. Their album and song names seem to follow the risque themes as well, with their albums often being named things like Penis Between Two Fat Titties, Shit-Covered Strap, and such things.

Notable history

  • The band went on hiatus for 3 years when Johnny Corn (suspected to have changed his name to Gimpy Castaway) went missing. The first album to be released after the hiatus was called "Castaway To The Sea Of Hurt," which is their only album to not have a risque name.
  • When Platsic Surgeons was about to be cancelled, they swooped in and made the theme song which made the viewer count rise like hell! It's now one of the most viewed channels on cable.
  • They didn't become famous until their third album, titled Love Songs For A Scatfuck At 2 In The Morning, which was a concept album exploring the life of a woman attempting to recover from past abusive relationships and exploring sexual relationships in a healthy way with her new partner. It became infamous due to it exploring sexuality in such a healthy, natural way, and depicting it positively.

  • Released Albums

    Scatfuck Cumhole
    Their first album which is self-titled is 16 tracks long, and most of the songs are about scatfucks.

    The Life And Death Of A Fetus
    Concept album about the infamous horror film Attack Of The Aborted Fetuses. When interviewed, all of the band members have stated that Attack Of The Aborted Fetuses is their favorite movie ever, as it portrays abortion positively and is most likely a metaphor for bodily autonomy rights.

    Jackson Greyhound is the lead singer and face of the band. He's infamous for the obscene acts he commits, like grinding himself on a shotgun in a family's shed, saying weird shit on impulse (eg: "Sometimes, I pretend that chocolate milk is diarrhea, and I get so turned on I cum myself"), squeezing lemons into his eyes, and a whole bunch of other stuff. In short: he does fucked up things sometimes. Actually, he does fucked up things all the time. He has standards though; for one, he decapitated someone who was sexually harassing an audience member during a concert, and has made it very clear that he has, y'know, morals.

    Jackson has a voice that sticks out from most metal bands. Sure, he can do screamo, but by god does he pull it off better than most.

    He lives in a shitty apartment with clothes strewn across the floor, piss soaked boxers that will probably never see the light of day again, and horror movie posters covering the walls (if you ask him his favorite, he'll say A Nightmare On Elm Street).

    Frankly, he's very chill, albeit very crazy. He's seemingly the strangest face in Moronville, but the other residents will make you think that he's actually quite ordinary compared to them.

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    Gimpy Castaway is the drummer for Scatfuck Cumhole and sometimes screams along with Jackson. He, of course, bears the appearance of a gimp. He's also quite infamous because of his appearance, especially since the gimp suit seems to be a part of him - literally! He's adorned the top of the suit with foam spikes that swing around whenever he thrashes his head. He doesn't talk much, save for the other bandmates.

    Gimpy Castaway isn't his real name, though. It's unclear why he changed it, however it's suspected it's due to his (forced) involvement with the plastic surgeons. It could also be a reference to how he was a castaway at one point, desperately searching for his way home.

    He lives in a clean apartment, but the walls are painted dark red and have death metal bands on them. His closet has horror movie t-shirts and tripp pants, and he keeps a record of past Scatfuck Cumhole concert promos in his nightstand drawer. Walking into his apartment is like walking into one of those "love motels."

    He's less strange than most of the people in Moronville, however he's very chill and mainly keeps to himself. He's happy to talk about metal and horror movies if you bring it up, though. Avoid mentioning plastic surgeons around him.

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    Saw Kidney is the bassist for Scatfuck Cumhole and is rumored to have contributed to the disappearances around Moronville. Despite the fact that they're a (not so) secret slasher, they're, surprise, not! Although they moved to Moronville specifically to commit crimes, they've only killed a few people here so far.

    No one has ever seen their face before (except for the other band members) - they're constantly wearing a hockey mask in public, and some wonder what they look like under there. Is there a reason why they cover it up...? Probably 'cause they're wanted in their hometown.

    They live in an apartment that's cleaner than Jackson's, but dirtier than Gimpy's. There's a foul stench akin to that of a corpse (is it because of a corpse, or corpses?) that floods your nose as soon as you step in, and their room is painted red with bloodied weapons hung up om the walls. There's also some posters and their bed is very unmade. They have a computer on a broken desk, too! Other than the bedroom, the apartment is pretty tidy. They give you one rule when you enter the kitchen, though - do not open the fridge.

    Submitted by Chippy!

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